I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed that the spirit of Christmas and come down between then and New Year has a cycle of events that I wanted to chronicle for you all, because we all know everyone is laying around, scrolling through their phones for something to make them laugh. So without further ado, here are the Adult Christmas/New Year Limbo.
Boxing Day
Ahh the day when we all meet the stragglers from the day before, leftover Turkey (sandwiches, curry, stir fry – any way you can take it), sausage rolls, and whatever else you can just shove in the oven for a little while. For those of you that didn’t get slaughtered on Bailey’s during the festivities, you might decide it’s a great time to get pissed because you’re one of the lucky ones that doesn’t have to work tomorrow. You also might be one of the hardcore shoppers that gets up at dawn to hit the Next Boxing Day sales and buy your children a year’s worth of clothes, then head on home to nap for the rest of the day.
27th December
Those unlucky office workers might have to head into work for the day only to find you’re one of the few that either didn’t get their holiday request submitted in time, or used your allowance on a big trip away to Asia in the summer. No where else is open, so trying to contact people might become a nightmare and the only conversations you’ll have all day are “How was your Christmas?!”
For those of you at home, you’ll have entered the limbo of not knowing what day it is, whether you’ve got anything else to eat other than turkey or nurturing your hangover from the Boxing Day festivities with some good old fashioned hair of the dog.
28th December
It’s the 28th of December and you’re laying around in your new dressing gown feeling sorry for yourself as you self indulged and decided to go ahead and eat the rest of the cheese board. You may well have a cold and have binge watched everything you can, so you decide to head on out to get pissed, again. Or you’ve decided to drag the family out to see one of the local pantos and chuckle away at the man dressed in drag, unable to see the baddie running behind him on stage.
29th December
Still unsure of the day, you’ll head to one of your family member’s homes for dinner, catch up on the sleep you’re undoubtedly not getting enough of at night because you’ve laid in bed all day and row with a sibling over something mundane – just because you’re adults doesn’t mean you no longer argue. To get over the chaos, you’ll drink and eat your way into oblivion, only moving when your partner nudges you to say you’re going home.
30th December
It’s hit you that Christmas is finally over, you want the decorations down pronto and the knowledge that work is looming fills you with dread. You’re also not sure what your plans are for New Year’s Eve and are desperately calling your friends to see if they’re doing anything cool – you’re not too old to go out and have a good time and god damn it, nothing is going to stop you this year. By the end of the day when you realise the price of going out is a form of extortion, the dress you’d planned on wearing is no longer a viable option as you’ve eaten too many mince pies and everywhere is booked up, you settle yourself in for the night knowing that this is your life and you’ll snuggle up at home with your partner, probably snoring your way in to the New Year.
New Year’s Eve
And the day has come, the final day where you plan what your resolutions are going to be for the upcoming year. You take full advantage of the meat and cheese you have left in the fridge to stop tempting yourself for Veganuary, make sure you drink every last drop of the Prosecco, Advocaat, Buck’s Fizz or mulled wine so you’re ready for Dry January, then proceed to make a half-arsed attempt to make yourself look glittery and gorgeous for the house party you’ve ended up going to. By the time you get to the party you’re ready to pass out because you thought pre-drinking before a house party was a great idea, so your mate let’s you have a nap before shaking you awake to enjoy a New Year snog with your partner – they’re the best!
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