Continuing on from last week’s post in the three part series (make sure to check out my guide to fishing lingo for fishing widows if you haven’t already!) I’m here today to talk about the process your relationship will go through when you’re in a relationship with someone that is an angler/fisherman.
The relationship process
When Aaron first started fishing, I felt abandoned – we didn’t live together and he would spend as much time fishing as humanly possible. We would row, I’d cry that he didn’t love me (it’s hilarious thinking about it now) and would rather fish than spend time with me. A tad dramatic, yes. Abandoned is quite a strong word, but as a hormonal teen and eventually a young woman, that was my reality and I’m sure that a newly widowed partner to fishing will understand the turmoil.
He ended up getting into a routine that I could cope with and as the years went by, I started to accept that this was a part of our lives, whether I liked it or not. I’d come along for a night (or two if I was feeling brave about not missing my bed and a toilet – note, it’s very rare you’ll go to a sought after lake that has a toilet, let alone a portaloo) and started to see the reason he was hooked (lol), it was all about the anticipation of catching something huge, it wasn’t a hobby, it was a sport! We even ended up going to a lake in France a couple of years back for our holiday (Aaron’s friend owns a house with a lake out there that we rented for a week – I couldn’t handle sleeping by the lake on an uncomfortable bedchair so agreed as I’d have a cosy bed for the night) where I laid back with a book in the sun, helped catch a few fish and enjoyed the tranquility.
Some see it as boring (which I fully appreciate – I don’t particularly like it, but can see why Aaron enjoys it); it’s time away from real life, back to nature, for some it’s catching up with mates that share the same passion and having a laugh at someone accidentally falling in – this has happened when Aaron’s been around a couple of times (see below photo of my cousin Stuart/Aaron’s best man after falling in);
Aaron currently fishes a lake with a rota meaning he can fish the lake every other weekend. When he moved in with me almost 4 years ago, the fishing started to become less of an issue and I can’t tell you how different life was before then! I sometimes look forward to that time apart as I get to do some of my own things (not all the time – I always miss him!) and when Sunday morning rolls around – yes, he goes for two nights most of the time – I always run to the front door and jump up for a hug and kiss. Now what’s better than that? I’m finally at the stage of ACCEPTANCE.
Make sure to stay tuned for the final instalment in the Understanding Fishing – a guide for fishing widows series and let me know in the comments if you’ve got anything you want to know!