I can be a strange old bean (as I’m sure most people can be) and my little anxiety quirk has raised many a question and many an eyebrow over the years.
So to start off I’m going to set the typical scene, which will hopefully help you to better understand what the hell I’m on about.
Aaron and I are out in town, strolling around chatting whilst hitting up the latest sales (which he’ll moan about, but I know he secretly loves ) and we approach a road to be crossed. My sub-conscious panic mode takes over and my right leg begins to tremble. Anyone walking/driving around will wonder what on earth this short blonde (sorry, I always feel the need to re-iterate my lacking in height) is doing with her feet glued to the floor, holding on to her boyfriend for dear life and there you have it.
Now, I hear you ask, what on earth has this got to do with a fashion faux pas? Well my internet friends, this irritating ‘quirk’ informs many of my life & fashion choices, especially when it comes to footwear.
Gone are the days that I could stroll around in some gigantic heels without a care in the world, anxiety doesn’t care much for convenience or fashion for that matter. If my feet aren’t firmly on the ground and my balance in check, those bad lads aren’t going on my feet.
I don’t know how it started, I just know it all originated on the stairs and has spiralled over the last decade. It’s fluctuated between good, terrible and manageable. At first it wasn’t even just roads and it still isn’t restricted to them either. If I trip over a paving slab, wobble. If someone makes me jump (imagine a child running riot in a restaurant) wobble. If I walk on uneven ground, wobble. The list of triggers is endless, as is the list of situations I will avoid/work around. Where I park my car, where I need to be picked up, how and where I meet up with friends are all usual thought processes I have to go through each and every day.
So, this week I set myself a challenge. I was going to wear a heeled pair of boots for an entire day to work (not huge heels, I am a human with real feet guys).
To start off, I put on my boots (please see picture below) on the Sunday evening and walked/ran around the flat like a madwoman to get used to them and to get me in the right mindset. The next morning I set off on my daily journey and I’m happy to report it was a success!
Only one wobble in the morning when I was mentally preparing myself for a day in the boots and a couple of what I like to call ‘almost’ moments.
So, if you suddenly see me stop walking (for what appears to you as being for no reason), just know that I’m okay, I’m having a moment and I’m working on it.
Until next time…