What I’d like to tell my 21 year old self

My cousin Tammy recently messaged me to remind me of the fact that there’s an old YouTube channel of mine lurking in the depths of despair with a whole host of cringeworthy videos on there – the main focus initially being on my hair growth journey (vom) which eventually progressed to fashion and a little bit of beauty. She sent me the link to one of the videos and I then got lost in a haze of my younger voice chatting shit. It was when I was watching these horribly filmed videos – some were captured on the webcam of my laptop where you can hear the buzzing from the fan of it overheating, some so pixelated you’d think I was in the film Pixels and others so dark it’s hard to see what the fuck I’m talking about – that I would love to go back to my younger self and give her some home truths about what she’s doing and what’s to come.

And here we are, 5 years after the death of that channel, about to give 21-year-old Gaby some life advice;


I sometimes wonder if I had stuck it out back then if I would have had a better platform to do what I love now. I stopped it after I got a full time job and “didn’t have the time” to film, edit and upload anymore. Yes it was cringey, but it was so organic and innocent – I didn’t have adult life to worry about back then, the only proper makeup brand I’d heard of was Bare Minerals and I used my fingers to apply all of my makeup. Life was great.

Don’t ever take out a payday loan, credit card or overdraft

I’m going to put my hands up and admit that I was one of those people that caved into all of those payday loan adverts you used to see on the telly – having worked in finance for a few years I know that these are absolute cons and prey on the vulnerable, fresh out of education and down right stupid graduate/students.

I also decided to get a “student account” which gave me a credit card with a £500 limit and an overdraft of £1000 – WHO DECIDED THIS WAS A GOOD PRODUCT TO SELL TO STUDENTS?! It took me years to get out of that bastard and I abhor the bank manager that talked me into it. What a dickhead.


There aren’t many pictures of my old bedroom around, but I managed to screen grab this legend when I was re-watching my videos and I’d ducked down to pick up a shitty top I’d bought from Primark. Bags of Diet Coke on the bed, pictures taped to the door, mounds of necklaces hanging on the wardrobe door handles and the embarrassment of the wardrobe door open for the world to see.

This is absolutely shameful.

Stop banging on at Aaron to marry you, it will happen and it will be the most beautiful day of your life – now shut up

I cannot tell you how many times I hinted (read nagged) to Aaron about getting married. I was and still am absolutely obsessed with this man, I wanted to marry him, have his babies and a fairytale life – yes we’re married without any babies, living in a one bed flat on a council estate, but give it a while and we’ll have our house with a garden – THE DREAM!

Don’t take everything to heart

You’ll have some knock backs and it may feel like the world around you is crumbling, but stick on a brave face to ride it out. There are some shitty people that you haven’t come across before, be ready for them and know you’ve been as authentic as you can possibly be.

And here we are, 26 years old and married with a new name, same old random sense of style, but a fresh perspective.

What would you tell your younger self and can you relate to any of these things?


  1. January 1, 2019 / 12:07 pm

    I know I’m only 22 but god there are so many things I would tell my younger self. Also I’m loling at the “stop nagging Aaron to marry you” cos that is ME with Jake hahahah, I’ll chill out… I would definitely tell my younger self to stick with therapy, ALWAYS trust my gut, stand up for myself more and to take every opportunity no matter how scary it was. I feel like I’d be in a very different place right now if I did so but hey, that’s life! I will do these things going forward ☺️
    Alice Xx

    • January 1, 2019 / 12:11 pm

      You’re a very wise 22 year old Alice! I’m deffo with you on standing up for yourself though and think that should have made the list! I think it’s something that comes with age, but doesn’t make it easier!
      And yeah, that poor man was nagged for so long it was unreal 😂😂 however, it DID take him 9 and a half years to pull his finger out, so I’m sure you can appreciate my frustration 😂😂❤️❤️

  2. Tammy
    January 1, 2019 / 12:12 pm

    This is probably my favourite blog post you’ve done rella! X

    • January 1, 2019 / 12:13 pm

      Ahh thanks Tam, also glad to know you’ve taken the point about nagging Barbs to marry you seriously 😂😍

  3. January 3, 2019 / 9:31 pm

    Love this Gaby! I have been doing YouTube on and off for at least 4 years now and I wish I’d have just stuck with it in the beginning because I was actually getting a fairly decent amount of views.. Now it’s just too much to do YouTube, run a blog, keep your IG going and have hobbies all alongside a full time job!! I would definitely advise my younger self to save more – savings are a must have kids!xo

    Char | http://www.charslittleblog.co.uk

    • January 3, 2019 / 10:39 pm

      Tell me about it! I did have another go Year before last but couldn’t keep up with it all! And agree – SAVE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE!! 😂😂❤️❤️

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